Okay…okay,

Thank you Dinana for your constant reminders that I haven’t posted lately, lol.

It has been awhile since my last post. Just to let you know that I’m not just sippin’ umbrella drinks, here’s the deal:

Starting last Monday, I became a full-time stay-at-home, work-from-home dad. IE: I’m taking care of the kiddo and writing full time from the comfort of my home office. In all fairness, I didn’t expect this to be an “early retirement” by any means, but it’s been more of a challenge that even “I” thought it would be.

In that light, here are “5 Things I Miss” and “5 Things I Love” now that my office is down the hall.

5 Things I Miss

1. There are no “coffee breaks.”

Regardless of what you might think, there are no “breaks” when working form home. If I go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, there are also dishes to be done, laundry to be folded, and a baby who is (in Dave Barry’s words) either just about to cry, crying, or just finished crying.

2. You can’t tell your 2-month-old baby that “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” If it comes down to getting that great idea on paper or comforting the baby…forget the Pulitzer, man, you’re wipin’ butts!

3. Nobody believes you’re really working. Okay, this is a toss-up, cause a lot of the time, I’m not really working. Still, when someone calls you at the office and you say, “Hey, I’m at work, I can’t talk right now…” they usually believe you. Try this at home…it’s a laugh.

4. I miss “Quitin’ time.” Make no mistake, at home there is no quitting time. You work, you do chores, you work, you manage the baby, you work, you eat dinner…then you work some more. This is nothing new, Moms have been doing it for centuries. Stop what you’re doing right now and call your Mom, send her a card, book her a cruise. She deserves it!

5. I miss conversation. Admittedly, my conversations with my co-workers were usually pretty sophomoric, ranging from pure sarcasm to bodily function humor. At home with a twelve-week-old baby, you still get the bodily function stuff, but believe me, it ain’t no laughing matter!

Okay, enough whining…

5 Things I Love

1. I can go to work in my underwear (yes, yes…TMI.)

2. I don’t have to have change for the vending machine. My fridge has no lock, and I’m going to weight 700 pounds by the end of the year. When you’re writing fiction, twinkies seem to be the only answer to writer’s block.

3. I am un-interruptible (by most). No one just walks into my cube and starts a conversation regardless of what I’m working on, because I have locks on my front door. At home, if a stranger just walks into my “cube” I’m legally allowed to shoot him. Wouldn’t THAT be nice?

4. Napping is socially acceptable. No longer do I have to use excuses like, “I was meditating on the upcoming meeting,” or “I was finding my ‘writing place,” as long at the kid’s sleeping, I can too. I just have to make up the hours later.

5. My new “co-workers” are awesome. After spending 7 years trying to have a baby, I can, whenever I think to myself “I wonder what Gracie’s doing right now?” just turn in my chair and see. She never critiques my work and always has a smile for me (try getting THAT from you boss, lol.) Also, I can snuggle whenever I want, without risking being sent to a “class.”

So, that’s where I’ve been, but I promise I’ll keep posting. Any thoughts or tips from you “pros” on this whole “stay at home” thing?

Okay, I’m outta here.

Go call your mother!

-Perk

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